You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
