what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it