It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame