i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.