yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl