is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
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Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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