Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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