dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
