People with herpes should wear stickers.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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