How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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