Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize