I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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