Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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