No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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