i barfeds in our rink
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
