The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
