Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
