I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
