if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.