bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
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Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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