Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
