She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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