apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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