How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
