His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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