I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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