There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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