absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i think i just lost a toe
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize