Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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