well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
