I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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