I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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