spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
