I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize