So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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