I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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