Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize