Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
