Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize