everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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