How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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