so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize