Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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