stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize