She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
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Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
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My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.