franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
