i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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