Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
