you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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