Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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