I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
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I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
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I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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