i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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