when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize