I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize